Homeschool: trial and error?

This year marks our 5th year homeschooling. It can be a huge challenge. See, I am not a naturally organized person. I am somewhat flighty and scatterbrained. This can make for some really fun days and some extra frustrating. It just depends on how well the kids and I mesh on that day.
This year is the first year that all of the kids are officially in school. AJ and BJ started Kindergarten! IM and AG are in their 4th grade year.
My kids are typical kids and have area's of strength and weaknesses, we struggle. We learn. We change. We have a traditional teaching time; however, I don't stress if it just doesn't work. I love the flexibility!
When we began Kindergarten, I combined IM and AG though they have the 2 year age difference. IM needed that extra year and AG was ready early. I was ultra-traditional. We got up at this time, we got dressed up, we had a class room, scheduled breaks and lunch. I quickly saw that it was not working for us. I was coming from a traditional education, that is the only way to do it, right? Start off the day with Bible at exactly 8:20! If I was late, I'd feel so guilty. Math at this time, Science at that, Language and penmanship at this time, Reading for exactly 15 minutes.
What would we do if they just didn't get how to write this letter? What if this concept in math just would not be grasped by their blossoming mind? How do we deal with the Science experiment took longer than I intended?  I forced it through. I got frustrated. I started losing the joy of teaching my kids. Failure wasn't an option for us.
I began to feel like a failure. My kids were reading. They could add and subtract. But I was not enjoying it and so they didn't. I just did not know what to do.
I kept telling myself that it wasn't working. Then one day, I had this "aha moment". The schedule was self imposed. The plan was self imposed. My lack of joy and happiness in teaching my crazies was self imposed. And by doing that I created a heartbreaking, frustrating jail for my crazies and myself. It was fixable.
We have slowed down. So much of curriculum is review - for years! Review, with a few new concepts added in here and there. The people who come up with curricula are brilliant and knowledgeable. They have gone through years of education and teaching classes themselves. They have learned what works and what doesn't  however, it is not guaranteed that it will always work for every child. If you homeschool, you know your child. What approach helps them? What do you see working? What things do you do that work?
For us, it has been to "lax" it up- just a bit. When I see that one of the crazies is struggling with the concept of multiplication, we stop and take time to work it out. We breathe. We take a second (not minutes) to calm down. Then we go at it again, with me praying and cheer leading both child and teacher on! 
I had to realize that there is nothing wrong with my crazies. They are going to struggle. We are going to clash! They are little human beings with minds and thoughts and opinions of their own. My job is to help guide and direct those into a God-fearing, stable, independent, capable adult. My job is to pray for this budding adult. My job is to be an example. Life gets hard and messy and complicated, but we don't give up. We don't roll over and give in. Ec 9:10 Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might
I'm not trying to tell you that I am perfect or that we have it all figured out. I'm not even saying that we won't alter and change what we are doing now. Flexibility is the key. Is it working? If not, change it! Know, learn, grow- together!