thought of change. Raising a man.

Have you ever?  Have you ever looked at your kids and wondered what are they going to be? What will they do? I remember holding my first son, only a few hours after he was born and wondering what he would grow into. It was all a mystery then. I wondered about his personality, quirks, strengths, weaknesses? What would his character be? The future was unknown. Where we as a beginning family would end up was unfathomable.
Next month, IM will be 10 years old. Some of the things, hubby and I had dreamed of have been accomplished. And in ways that we would never have guessed or even thought. IM is half way to being grown. We were just talking the other day, and we both had quite a shock! Only 5 more years and he'll be 15! That is such a short time. These last 10 years, have flown right passed us! Even for him. I wish I had my camera handy when he realized how close that was to really being here. Of course, it will go slightly slower for him right now. It will still feel like a huge gap to be crossed. For me, for his mommy, it is unbelievably close. Our babies are already 5. 5 years is nothing in the scheme of things. I am closer and closer to getting those questions answered. The closer he is to 10, I am seeing the battle between child and man has already began. In small ways, but it has began nonetheless. I am seeing that how I respond to him as his mom is vital. I saw a facebook page for a group that is for raising men. Not boys, because we don't want them to remain boys. It was a reminder that my son, is tomorrow's leader. I am not saying that he will be president. I am not saying that he will be renowned. He will always be my son and therefore always and forever special. One day, he will be the leader of his home. He will be a dad, a leader of his children. A MAN. How am I helping him in this journey? How will I help our other 2 boys?
I have come to realize that I have to change my approach with him. I am still mom. But I do not want to crush that man that is learning to come out, to grow out. I'm not sure how we will change. As his mom, it is my journey to walk. As his mom, how do I? I don't have the answers yet. I'll pray and go. I look to hubby and defer to him in the raising of a man. Because I am not a man.
I know this is a "short" and odd post.